


Transgender Dysphoria Blues

by Againstme



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Gen, Gender Dysphoria, Mentions of Other Voltron Paladins, Talk of HRT, Trans Female Character, Trans Female Pidge | Katie Holt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-04
Updated: 2017-02-04
Packaged: 2018-09-21 22:01:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9568688
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Againstme/pseuds/Againstme
Summary: Shiro finds Pidge crying in the middle of the night. They talk about what's bothering her. Things get better from there.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry if the HRT talk uses awkward/wrong terms? I don't usually talk about this stuff in English so I went with literal translations for things
> 
> Title is from the album of the same name by Against me!

A couple of weeks in the castle had taught Shiro that Pidge knew how to hide from people when she wanted to, especially when it was late and she didn’t want to go to bed.

That’s how, even months after first their first battle as Voltron, Shiro still spent what seemed like hours looking for Pidge in the middle of the night to get her to bed.

Pidge’s room? Nothing. Kitchen? Nothing. Green lion’s hangar? Nothing. Med bay? Nothing. Control room? Nothing. 

Shiro was about to go check the other lions’ hangars when he heard a sort of sniffle coming from beside him. Directly to his right was a panel that looked like it had recently been taken out. Was Pidge hiding in the vents? 

Another sound, something like a muffled sob. Was Pidge crying while hiding in the vents?

Shiro kneeled next to the panel and moved it to the side, “Pidge? Are you okay?”

There was some shuffling coming from inside the vent followed by a short sigh, “Not really,”

“Wanna get out of the vent and talk about?” Shiro sat down properly in front of the vent then added, “The talking is optional but the getting out of the vent isn’t. It really can’t be safe or comfortable in there,”

Pidge didn’t answer immediately. When she finally did after several minutes of silence, it sounded kind of choked like she was still trying to stop herself from crying, “Okay, I’m coming out now,”

Shiro moved away from the vent as Pidge crawled out. She looked like a mess; her eyes were red rimmed, proof she’d been crying; her hair was messier than it usually was; overall, she just looked worse for wear.

Once she was completely out of the vent, Pidge sat down, wiped the remaining tears from her face, and put her glasses back on. “I don’t know if I want to talk about it, it’s stupid and it would complicate things with the team and Voltron and just everything,” she said.

Shiro considered her words for a moment, “Try me,” 

“I made a program to keep track of Earth dates and, uh,” Pidge’s face scrunched up like she was trying not to start crying again, “It was my birthday two days ago,”

Well that could do it. Emotions were always running kind of high when you were stuck fighting a space war.

“And we’d planned for me to start E instead of just puberty blockers a couple of weeks before my birthday. But Matt and dad never came back and when I left to sneak into the Garrison, I stopped getting my puberty blockers and now with this whole Voltron thing, I’m never gonna get to―” her words were cut off by a muted sob as Pidge curled in on herself.

“Oh,” Yeah, that would definitely make Pidge cry. Shiro moved closer and stroked her hair to try and calm her down, “Pidge, we live in a castleship that can create wormholes, I’m sure Coran can make something like E, how complicated can it be when you have all this tech around?”

Pidge looked up at him and frowned, “It’s not―That wouldn’t help because then the others would stop seeing me as a real girl anymore,” she quickly added, “I mean, I know it probably wouldn’t change how they see me but I just can’t shake the feeling,”

“Pidge, I promise you anyone on this team who thinks of you as any less of a girl because of your decision regarding hormones, whether you take them or not, will go through living hell until they change their mind,”

Pidge smiled a bit, “Thanks Shiro that really means a lot. It doesn’t fix everything, but it means a lot,”

Pidge turned around a hugged Shiro with a smile on her face, after a moment, Shiro hugged back, “It’s nothing Pidge,”

They stayed like that until both Pidge started drifting off. When she was fully asleep, Shiro shifted them slowly until Pidge was fully in his arms. Once that was done, he got up slowly and walked towards her room. Once there, he opened the door, took off her glasses and put her in her bed.

***

Early the next morning, Shiro went to Coran to ask him if it would be possible to synthesize human hormones with the castle's technology.

“Hmm, well I suppose it’s possible, but without a sample it’ll probably take a few cycles, but it’s entirely possible.”

Shiro nodded, that was the answer he’d hoped to get, especially after what he’d said to Pidge last night, “Alright, can you start trying to make some now?”

“Of course!”

“Thank you Coran,” Shiro started to turn away and go to breakfast when he remembered something else, “Oh and could you not tell anyone for now? I’m not sure she wants other people to know about this,”

“I wouldn’t dream of telling anyone else Shiro, now you go to breakfast before your paladins come looking for you,” Coran said as he waved him off.

When Shiro got to breakfast, Pidge was the only one absent. “Is Pidge still sleeping?” he asked.

“I saw her this morning, she said something about needing to to make a decision and she went towards Green’s hangar I think,” Hunk answered.

“Thanks Hunk, I’ll go get her later for training,” Shiro frowned as he sat down, maybe he hadn’t made the right choice when talking to Coran if Pidge felt the need to go see the green lion to make a decision like that.

An hour after breakfast, Shiro decided it was time to go get Pidge so she wouldn’t spend too long away from everyone and miss the day’s training.

Luckily for him, Pidge was already walking out of the hangar by the time Shiro got there. 

“Shiro! I was about to go look for you,” she said, running towards him. She took a deep breath and continued, “I decided I don’t want to take hormones until we find my family, it’d be weird to start without my family around,”

Shiro nodded, “Okay, I asked Coran to start testing ways to make some, but you don’t need to use them until you’re ready,”

“Do you know if Coran can make puberty blockers? I’d like to continue on those, at least for a while,”

“I don’t think I asked him, but I think it’d be easier than actual hormones? Wanna go ask him after training?”

Pidge smiled wide and hugged Shiro even tighter than she had the night before, “Yeah, I’d really like that Shiro. Thank you so much,”

As Shiro hugged her back, Pidge looked up at him still beaming. Shiro couldn’t help but smile back, “It’s nothing Pidge, it’d be a crime to give you anything less than this,”

Months later, when Pidge took her first dose of hormones after finding Matt and Commander Holt, she gave Shiro the same dazzling smile.

Shiro couldn't have felt any prouder.


End file.
